Things are getting better day by day. My worst fear almost came true the other night, I almost lost him for good. In other news, I’ve had a really good day today, no mental break downs. I’ve been wondering why he hadn’t come into my life earlier but I guess this is God’s plan and I can’t wait to see where it leads me.
Not feeling like myself is starting to worry me. I zone out to the point that it’s like I’m not even in the room. I can’t find a reason to smile and all I want to do is sleep. I want to lock myself in a room and just isolate myself from everyone, and I know kris can see that something is wrong and I don’t need him thinking that it’s him. I can’t stand feeling like this, if only I knew why.
I’m getting worried though because i’m scared to get in anymore fights and have us end. He makes me so happy that losing him would probably send me into a depression worse than Nick did. I’ve never been this comfortable with anyone and i’d hate to lose that. Nick screwed me up so bad and i’ve been taking it out on Kris without even meaning to. I’m trying to fix the screwed up part of myself that Nick made me into for the past year. I need to change and hopefully that isn’t that hard.
This is what my life is now.
